| My boss just called me a slut.
This is awesome. |
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| recent highlights from the superficial:
"Because Tom and Katie are really traditional like that, and they need their child to grow up with a firm understanding of the proper gender roles: mommies stay home and take care of the house, and daddies are hypodermic needles with semen in them. And every two weeks, some guy named Tom shows up reeking of leather and cosmopolitans, and pays everyone to keep their mouths shut."
"Ricky Martin says his brief tenure as kind-of-famous in the late nineties left him "bored and embittered," claiming that, "Everything was too serious and I wasn't enjoying it." Because there's no job more serious than showing up onstage in sleeveless jean jackets and doing the Latin equivalent of the Elaine Dance. Except maybe clown mortician."
"Somebody needs to tell Madonna that the "mystical Jewish" child-rearing book she got at the Kabbalah Center was just a red string tied around the screenplay for Mommy Dearest. I'd do it except, you know, I'm afraid of getting me eyes gouged out with a coat hanger."
"If Paris Hilton had any business sense at all, she would taped herself stuffing the ring into one of her orifices and then tried auctioning it off. That probably would have gotten at least another $50 or something. Although I'm not sure if STD's actually increase the value of jewelry. I'll just go ahead and assume that they do though, considering I am a licensed jewelrytologist. And no, I didn't just make up a word. If you don't know it, it just means you're stupid."
"Charlize Theron took it upon herself to pull a Tom Cruise while talking about her boyfriend Stuart Townsend and jump up on the couch. I guess it could have been worse, though. She could have ripped off her top and claimed she had a wardrobe malfunction. That, or a monkey could have beaten her to death."
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Daniel Johnston - Joy Without Pleasure
When I was a little kid
And all the people they looked big
I never exactly understood
How to tell the trees from the wood
Joy without Pleasure
Ain't no fun, ain't no fun at all
My Mama she took me aside one day
She said you better have fun while you play
'Cause someday you'll wake up and you'll be old
And all of your youth will be gone away
And you work in a factory and you earn your pay
And your fingers will rot and your mind will decay
You'll be happy, so happy with your family and house
But you'll never, you'll never enjoy yourself
The Son of Charles Dickens had a little red hen
Danced the watusi like it was a sin
They tried to enjoy it but they feel so guilty
Guilt won't allow you to enjoy a stolen apple
joy without pleasure, ain't no fun
- - - - edit - - - -
The NYTimes should fire Pareles and hire me.
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